Of Rugs and Fairy Tales
by Ridderres
Summary: Lola Perry isn't stupid. She just has been trained in acting like nothing ever happens around her.


The first time it happens you're four. It might be the age of princesses and dragons, and you might not remember much of it, but you do remember this. The new neighbours have just moved in the house at the end of the street. Your momma and you are going to bring them the cookies you have made together. Your mother loves baking. It's one of the things you picked up from her. You remember the big man opening the door, smiling down on both you and momma. "Come on in," he says, and both momma and you walk in. He thanks you for the cookies, takes the platter from momma and tells you to sit down. "I'll get my family, so that they can introduce themselves," he says, while walking towards the kitchen door.

When he comes back he has a little girl with dark brown ponytails by his side and a man who doesn't even reach his shoulder. The girl seems to be about your age. Momma grows as white as a sheet. She shakes the other man's hand, says hello to the girl and turns to you. "Well, it was nice meeting you," momma says, "But my little Lola here, needs to get to her dance class." You look at momma in shock. "My dance class momma? I…" She cuts you off. "Tut tut honey, hurry on, you'll be late." She walks out of the door with you, walks towards the house, all the while dragging you on by your arm.

When almost at the front door, she stops you. "Lola, look at me," she says, while turning your face to her. It hurts almost as much as the dragging she had done a moment before. Momma always has these talon-like, red nails, and as much as you like them on her hands, you don't like them digging into your chin. She is always complaining about the things when you two are cooking, but she still keeps them as long. She always says a proper woman needs to be well-groomed. When you look at her, she says: "Lola, we will not talk about what happened in that house. Is that clear?" You nod your head, wanting to please momma. "I do not want you playing with that girl. Do not go to that house." You know you have to shake your head again, and you do, even though the girl looks fun, and you live in a street mostly filled with elderly people. Mrs Henderson from across the street will call you in when you play outside and ask you if you want some sweets – the first time that happened you had ran back to momma, telling her that some strange lady had offered you sweets. Momma had followed you, seen Mrs Henderson and laughed, saying you could take Mrs Henderson's sweets – Mrs Henderson, however, was old and couldn't play with you. Timmy from a block further was already ten years old and didn't want to play with you either. You would've liked playing with the girl with the brown pigtails.

You like momma more though, and you do not want to upset her.

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The second time it happens, you are about ten. Susan was the same age. Mrs Henderson tends to leave this little piece of string hanging from the mailbox, so that you two can let yourselves in. Nowadays, you do little chores for her, things like helping her with her firewood and cleaning up the weeds in her garden. Mrs Henderson has gotten older and has become a little forgetful about when you were coming – hence the piece of rope – but she recognizes you just fine and loves when you and Susan come.

Today, after school, you yank the piece of rope and let yourself in through the front door, calling Mrs Henderson in advance. One of her cats comes walking towards Susan and you, and begins begging for food, as if Mrs Henderson has forgotten to feed him the night before. It happens, but when she is that forgetful, either Susan or you give the cat its food the next day. Susan walks towards the kitchen to open a can of cat food. You walk towards the sitting room, still calling Mrs Henderson. She is hearing worse and worse, but most of the time she would answer.

LaFontaine, to this day, will never forget the sound you made, while running to the kitchen. When Susan has finally calmed you down, you run to your house, knowing that mom will be there at this time of the day. A few hours later Mrs Henderson's son and daughter arrive, accompanied by a long, shiny black car. You turn your face into momma's blouse. Momma however, shakes you lose, telling you to man up. "Mrs Henderson was only our neighbour. Imagine how much worse this is for her son and daughter," mom says, wiping your tears away.

When Mr Henderson and his sister come, mom pays her respects. She gives you a soft push with her elbow, and you do the same. "I am so sorry you had to find my mother like that, Susan and Lola," Mr Henderson says. "Do not worry about it Mr Henderson, I am sorry for your loss," you answer with the feeling of bile rising in your throat.

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The third time, a real charm, happens when LaFontaine and you attend prom – LaFontaine is the name she is trying out with you in private now, even if you feel saddened by it. She says she wants to go by it at your mother's alma mater Silas, the university that admitted you both. Whenever she says that, she looks like she wants to say something else as well, but by now you've become quite proficient in sweeping things under the rug. If she is not telling you, you will not ask, since it can only be trouble. Sus – LaFontaine has changed. She's shortened her hair, to an almost boyish cut, and she has taken to wearing only jeans and shirts. It started slowly in high school, but it has culminated in the name change in your senior year.

Even if all the movies on the television seem to show prom as this massive thing that should be attended with the boy you like, the reality of it is different. Most people go as friends, and only couples who were dating before the prom actually go as a couple. Since Su – LaFontaine is your best friend, you will go together.

When LaFontaine enters your hallway, your mothers eyes grow big. She isn't wearing a dress, but a tux that seems to fit her quite well. Seeing LaFontaine in a tux seems to shock the living daylight out of your mother. She lowers the photo camera she has in her hand, putting it down on the stair case. You wonder if she will redraw her permission and tell you not to go. She, however, does as she always does. She opens the door for you, tells you "Bye girls" and then gives a short wave. She closes the door immediately after.

When you get back, you have this nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach. When you walk into the room, your mom sits in a chair in front of the television. She looks up, nods her head once in acknowledgement of you, turns off the tv and walks to the stairs. The prom isn't spoken about that night, nor the next morning, or the one after that.

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The fourth time is when your mother comes over to Silas. You've been at university for two years now, studying law. Momma had been really proud of you when you told her your major. You didn't tell her your minor, Mythologies and Fairy tales , since your mother wouldn't know what to make of it. Some things are best left unspoken.

You know your mother would come on Saturday, so that she could take you home after seeing your dorm room – you have gotten a new one in your second year and she hasn't seen it yet. LaFontaine and you have decided to take the Friday before your mother's visit off. You've grown even closer in the years you were on Silas, something you hardly thought possible. As horrible a roommate LaFontaine is, they tend to be a pretty funny to be around. You still find the pronoun 'they', that LaF told you they prefered as soon as you entered Silias, utterly weird and you highly dislike it, but if you call LaFontaine her or Susan, they simply _cringe_ and you hate when that happens. So you try to use what they want you to(, even if you think it's stupid).

You are lying in bed with LaFontaine, binge watching Sleepy Hollow and drinking a coke with a little tic in it. You've both had quite some of those cokes, or in LaFontaine's case, gin and juices, so you've become a little giggly. Sometimes, you think, you don't do this nearly enough. When you get a little tipsy, both of you tend to get handsy, nothing bad, nothing embarrassing the next day, nothing you will talk about, but enough that you sometimes doubt the bounds of your friendship. There's a pizza, at the foot of the bed, kicked a little behind when you started kissing, and it threatens to fall off the bed.

While LaF shoves their tongue slowly past your lips and you feel them up, you hear the pizza fall to the floor. You almost bite LaF's tongue off when you look up at the sound. You still have your hand up their shirt when you hear a knock, after which the door swings open immediately. Your mother was never big on waiting.

While you try fixing your hair and clothes, with besides you LaFontaine trying the same, your mother says, "Well hun, I thought I'd surpri…" The last syllable dies on her lips when she sees the state both you and LaF are in. She turns around, only saying that she'll text you about the change of plans later and practically runs out of the room.

Two hours later you get a text, which says to meet her alone in the café nearby. When you arrive, she looks frazzled, as if she has been drinking over ten cups of coffee during the time she has sat there. She looks up when you slide the chair back, and smiles a watery smile at you. As soon as you sit down, she pats your hand. "I've missed you, dear," she says. You don't know whether to feel relieved or hurt.

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So, when you hear your friends talking about these impossible things, you do the same thing you've always done. The thing your mother has always done. You try sweeping it under the rug. Of course your mind screams vampire as soon as you meet Carmilla, it's not as if you haven't minored in mythology. Of course you know that the library is off limits for a reason. Of course you know that the swim team is made up of mermaids, that's the reason why Silias is one of the best universities out there when it comes to swimming. The zombified Glee Club is quite a bit less successful, but you know about them as well. You know all these things, you've been at Silias for three years now, you'd be dead if you didn't learn quickly. It's part of why you minored in 'tales'. But that doesn't mean that you need to _talk_ about all these unpleasant things. Talking makes it all the more real. Why would you talk about it if you know it's real already? Why make things hard on yourself?

However, sometimes you have to talk about things. And sometimes you have to apologize. When you reach Su- no, it's LaFontaine, don't screw up again… When you reach LaFontaines door, you see this little note hanging on her door. And as you walk closer, you feel the same bloodcurdling sound leaving your throat as you let out in Mrs Henderson's living room. As you run to Carmilla and Laura's room, you feel your heart beating in your throat. You ask where La Fontaine is and when they don't know, you start explaining and show them the card. Both Carmilla and Laura look surprised. You feel the tears pushing at the back of your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. You quickly pace back to your room, opening one of the cupboards and pulling out the binders with a red back. The green ones, you leave. They signify your law major. You pick up the first red binder and open it up somewhere in the middle. It's the one you need. Carmilla might have picked up a thing or two. That doesn't mean you haven't either. You just prefer not to speak about it.


End file.
